Fort Family Times: July 2009

Yesterday was the day 3 years ago that my best friend, my Mom lost her battle with melanoma. I know that she is much better off than the suffering she endured while here with us but it still is hard to be without her. I sometimes feel like such a little girl because I miss her so and want her here with me. This is the 1st year since her passing that I was able to visit the cemetary on the actual day. It was bittersweet as my brother, Lil Sis, "Dad", Auntie, 2 sons and cousin's little boy were all with me. We just gathered around and talked, took a few pics at the grave and talked some more. I miss her so!!

She used to sing to me "You Are My Sunshine" when I was a little girl and always told me that I was her sunshine. Now for that I absolutely love sunflowers and find them so peaceful when I look at them. Due to time yesterday I was not able to get some before going to the cemetary but will be taking her some sunflowers in the next few days.

I still struggle trying to find a way to feel peaceful about her not being here. As stated before, I know that she is in a much better place. I am still searching for something I can do or involve myself in for her honor to feel a sense of peace about all this. I have been told that with time it gets better and am still waiting for that time to pass. 3 years and it isn't much better...

Here are pics of us at the cemetary. Hopefully later or tomorrow I can have a more cheerful post to write about but for today I am still thinking of my dear Mom. She was truly my best friend, noone else knows me like she did. Noone else understands my thoughts and feelings completely like she did.