Sunday, November 29, 2009

Smart Kid

Now I know that every parent thinks they have the smartest and cutest kid. I am also one of those parents that thinks that I have 2 of the many smart & cute kids out there!!

Tanner was an "alert" baby from the time he was born. He could hold his head up from birth and kept on from there! He currently is getting straight A's in school and still going strong! I am very proud of him and continue to encourage him daily! I have to admit that I have become a little concerned in the last few weeks about him tho....I love him dearly, he is my firstborn son. I am just wondering tho if he isn't going to be one of those guys that is really "book smart" and has no common sense?? I mean he is smart but then the basic common sense stuff he just don't get!! And even him having to figure out the simplest problems, he won't get it! But give him something more complicated and almost over my head and he figures it out! I am working on him tho as I want him to have some common sense as well. But if his brain power gets him places in life but he doesn't get how to sort color clothes from whites, well then I guess you take the good with the bad! Or I guess that means he will need Mommy for a long time!! LOL I do understand that he is only 9 tho and has more growing to do so hopefully, just hopefully, that common sense will get thru those smart brain cells somehow!

Now Logan, the 3 year old on the other hand! OH.BOY!! I am a little concerned about what this child is going to do. He is definately smart. He currently can spell his name and even type it on the computer. He also loves watching Ni Hao Kalan, Dora and Diego so that he can learn Chinese and Spanish. This is how smart this child is so far.....

Logan: "Daddy, we don't say ugly words do we?"
Daddy: "No buddy, we don't say ugly words."
Logan: "But we can in spanish."
Daddy: "What ugly words do you know in spanish?"
Logan: "You say them first Daddy.."

He was trying to get Daddy to say them first so that Daddy could get in trouble for it! He is smart I tell ya!!!

Now what am I going to do with these 2 boys??? I haven't figured it out yet but I do know that they fill my heart with so much love & joy! I love them both dearly!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Am Back!!

Ok after almost a month gone, I am back! I am dedicating myself to updating this blog regularly! I will admit that facebook has sucked me in and I have spent my extra time playing games on there. But I am back now cause I really enjoy blogging. I got into this rut where I felt like I didn't have anything worth writing about. I read several blogs every night before bed and just felt like I didn't have things to share like they do. But thanks to Emily, she encouraged me to keep going so that my kids can look back one day and read it. So that is what I am going to do!

Things have been really busy at our house with school, me volunteering at the school, Tanner playing flag football, Hubby working. Football is over for this season so maybe that will help things to slow down a little bit. So I am back and I hope that someone reads my blog still. Please leave me a comment and just say Hi!

Thanks Emily for the encouragement!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I have not been stressed out at the behavior of Logan lately and feeling like I just want to run away, leaving Hubby to deal with them alone. I would not be that kind of Mom at all!! I have more patience than that and can certainly keep things under control at home.

I did NOT take Tanner to school more than one morning last week in my pj's! I always get dressed before leaving the house.

I did NOT cancel a Dr appt just because I didn't feel like going, I am always on top of things and not a procrastinator.

It feels good to get those things out that I did not do...cause you know if I did that would be silly!!

I have a sick little boy with me today...poor Logan has a fever. He complains every once in awhile that his tummy hurts and that his foot hurts so I am not for sure what is going on. I hope it is a short lived issue cause this week is really busy. I guess I will be missing Tanner's game tonight to stay home with Logan. I really like watching him play so am kind of bummed but it can't be helped! I hope he does well and has lots of fun. He really enjoys playing!!

Hopefully I will be back more often, I really want to post more as I enjoy reading other blogs. I just feel like I don't exciting things to write about like others do. I am off to try to help my little guy feel better!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Strong Willed??

This precious, strong willed 3 year old little boy is pushing this Mommy to her breaking point...quickly!! I have taken today to sit back, take deep breaths and do research! I remember ever since I was a little 4 year old girl that I wanted to be a Mommy when I grew up...umm how come noone told me it would be so trying sometimes?? Don't get me wrong, I love this little boy with all the love I have to give! He is definately my world no matter how many buttons he pushes or nerves he dances on.

I always heard you get paid back for how you were to your parents as a child. I was a good child so what am I needing to be paid back for? I have talked to any and every other Mom, friend, family that I could. I have thought and thought and cried and cried over what to do. There is nothing seriously wrong with him, at least that I am aware of, it is just that he is very strong willed. It doesn't matter what amount of punishment you use on him, it DOES NOT bother him! You name it I have probably tried it from time out, spanking, ignoring, distracting with something else, yelling, talking, removing from the certain situation, taking whatever away....I have done alot!

I have been getting really down and depressed about this as the last week or 2 has been really challenging. He has stepped it up a notch or 2 in the misbehavior department. I have not been feeling that great with the cooler weather moving in and things have been busy for me at Tanner's school. I was starting to not want to deal with him, my nerves were very very short, so I decided to take today to do some thinking, researching, deep breathing and spend some one on one time with him.

I talked to a family member and they really made alot of sense to me. They pointed out that he is alot like how they were as a little child and even explained why certain things he was doing could be happening. That along with the research made everything a little clearer. Now instead of wondering and asking "What am I doing wrong?" I have a clearer picture or what is very possibly happening and as of now seems a little clearer to try to deal with.

In my thinking I also was able to look back at how his daily routine has been really messed up and truly believe that has alot to do with his behavior as well. He also is very sensitive to me and how I am feeling and I also think that plays a part in how he has been. So all these things added together makes me need to go searching for more patience! I am pretty patient but I think I need some more for back up!

I have am satisfied that I have made sense of some things today and am committed to be the best Mommy I can to both my boys! They deserve nothing less!! I am digging down deep within myself and finding more and more strength that I never thought I had. I love both of my boys and they are my world. I want nothing less than the best possible for them and will do whatever is in my power or ability to make that happen for them! So bring on a new week....I am ready to go!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Lazy Friday

I have been so so lazy today! It is so unlike me to be like this! I changed into my pj's at 5:30pm, even Hubby kind of looked at me crazy! He of all people knows that is NOT like me! I just have not felt all that great the last few days and decided it was going to be a lazy evening.

My week of volunteering for the book fair at Tanner's school ended on Wed...well Thurs really. Wed was the last day it was open and I had to leave early due to Logan getting sick. Fortunately it was a short lived sickness!! He was eating again by that evening! Since I had to leave early Wed, we had to go back for a couple hours on Thurs afternoon to pack it all up. The packing up part went very quick and I was honored to have been asked to be in charge of running the one in Spring by the teacher that was responsible for this sale! It made me feel good that she thought I did good enough job to do it again!! Thurs I was having alot more pain in my muscles but there was also a change in the temperature. That is never a good thing for my muscles!

Today the pain continued as well as just not feeling like I had energy. I took it easy through out the day, only doing laundry and being a Mom. I was able to take a little nap before having to pick Hubby up from work. After getting home, I tried to start cleaning Tanner's room and broke out in this clammy sweat like when you have a fever. That is when I decided to take it easy. I don't have a fever and besides this dull headache and not much "get up and go", I am ok. So the family just hung out and ate pizza. We did all 4 play a few games of Uno. It was bittersweet to play as a family of 4, our little guy is growing up so fast! He can play big kid games!! It was too cute!! It was a nice evening, very not like me, but good. I hope to feel much better the rest of the weekend so that I can get the cleaning done I wanted to.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


I have yet to get better about posting more than one time a is a work in progress!

This last week was super duper busy for us! I am on the PTO at Tanner's school and serve on the board as the Volunteer Coordinator. My first event started this last week, the Book Fair. This is the school's 1st year so getting things organized is kind of crazy! It has not been the easiest task to get volunteers for certain events but it is also a work in progress. I have had to be at the book fair alot due to not having enough help. It has been kind of stressful as it is my 1st event that I am in charge of but I would say so far things are going ok! This one is tough since it is during the school day, I am hoping other events won't be so bad! (Hoping....) So this last week went like this:
Monday- Tanner had school, I worked on PTO stuff during the day, Tanner had football practice that evening

Tuesday- Tanner had school, I had a PTO meeting that evening

Wednesday- Tanner had school, I had to be at the school all day setting up the book fair, Tanner's 1st game that evening

Thursday- at school by 7:30am to make sure 1st day of book fair got started ok, watched my friend's 2 kids that day, had to be at the school by 2:00 to help with book fair after school til 4:00 when it closed, had to work the Family Night for the book fair that evening

Friday- at school by 7:30am to open book fair, worked all day cause was short a person due to her child's illness, went over to our old neighbor's house for dinner then to watch a high school football game

See it was a crazy week! Lots of time at the school! The book fair will continue on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday it will be open during parent teacher conferences so I get to be there that day. Then it will be over!! Thurs and Fri is fall break and I will be glad by then!!

So yeah I am not sure what to think about if I want to do this same position next year. I do have to remind myself that this is the 1st year and all the kinks and crazies have to be worked out.

The boys are doing good though...Tanner is really excited about his football! He had some pretty awesome plays as quarterback. He also got to catch a pass and run for over 50 yards! He is pretty good! I can't wait for Logan to be able to play a sport, should be the spring I hope! He needs something to do!

I am still not fond of this cooler weather but have to just bear it cause no matter what it is coming! I will be so glad when it is March/April! How has your week been going??

Saturday, October 3, 2009

My No-Good Day

Yesterday (Friday) was NOT a good was a no-good day! It started by me getting woke up way earlier than I had to be up for. That wasn't so bad but I know didn't help with the rest of the day.

I was not feeling that great and hadn't for the last couple days, it had to do with my fibromyalgia. When the weather changes I don't do too well, esp when it changes to a cooler temperature. Most people around me are so excited for fall and cooler weather, NOT me! Fall and winter are very hard for me! I am not a fan at all of this time of year! I do so much better with spring and summer. I may not really like the extreme hot weather of summer but how I feel overall is so much better. This time of year is also an adjustment for me because I have felt so good for the last 6 months or so that I have to retrain myself to slow down and take it easier. That is not an easy task for me at all!!! I like to be up and doing things constantly, sitting and resting is way harder for me than you think!

On top of not feeling that great, this sweet, cute, innocent looking 3 year old....
has been up to some crazy "stunts" if you want to call them that lately! He is definitely a different child from Tanner! Tanner never ever thought of much less did some of the things this child does! So what has he been up to?? Let's see between writing on walls with crayons, deliberately pouring his drink on the floor, peeing on the floor or as of last night before bed...peeing on my living room rug, he also has mastered this
Yes he is covered in pudding and so is the chair! Where in the world did this child come from??

Finally after terrorizing me, he fell asleep like this...
All this while Hubby was at work and when got home he had to go help at his grandparents. Him and his Uncles are putting new floor & cabinets in their kitchen due to a water leak. So he was not home all day or evening to help me. That didn't help add to my no-good day!

But now it is a new day and I can only hope and pray that it will be a good day! I hope you all have a nice weekend as well as myself!

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Week Later...

Sorry I have not gotten any better at posting anything more than a week apart! I just have not been taking the time to stop and actually post on my own blog. I still read several daily, usually before I go to bed at night. I am irritated at myself cause I had a subject to write about just a little while ago and now can't remember what it was!

Since taking on the job of Volunteer Coordinator for the PTO of Tanner's school, I have been really busy! Seems like there is always an email to send out. Now if I could just get them back, things would be going good! I send them out letting parents know what is going on but get very little response. I am hoping it will get better since this is a new school. All I can do is get the word out there and that is what I keep telling myself. With helping at the school and still being an At-Home Mommy I don't get bored! And add to that...Tanner started flag football practice and has games starting next week! How will we ever juggle it with both boys in some sport?? It will be fun!!

I did get to spend last Sat with Hubby's Aunt & Uncle at a marching band competition out of town. It was a very long day...we left at 8:30am and returned at 1:30am. Hubby's cousin is marching in his high school band this year as an 8th grader!! He does very awesome!! He has learned and caught on to it very well!! It brought back all the high school memories of my days! Although this was a little different because these schools were way bigger than the one that I attended. They all had some awesome shows. The school we were supporting came in 8th out of 21! I am looking like a red raccoon right now but had alot of fun! I can't wait to go on the 10th to another one!! Next time I will remember sunscreen!

Besides all that stuff there isn't much else going on! Or at least I don't know that I have time for much else to go on...and now I will go so I can get ready to go to the school and see what is going on today!

I hope to be back sooner than a week but if not...have a great week!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

1st Day of Fall

I wish I could say that I was excited about it being the 1st day of Fall....but I am not! Unlike most people I love spring and summer. I guess I would like Fall ok if it didn't mean that winter is coming and cooler weather. My muscles just don't do well at all with cold weather. These 2 seasons are the hardest for me since I have fibromyalgia. Even though I don't really like to be hot, my muscles hurt WAY less in spring and summer!

But despite my muscles not liking the cooler weather I live with 3 boys that LOVE football! I like football too especially since Tanner plays. Today is his first day of practice for this season. This is his 3rd and probably last year of flag football. Next year he most likely will move on to tackle...not sure I am ready for all that! I am glad he is so passionate about it, it is just that since I am "Mommy" I worry about him getting hurt. So I will enjoy this last year of flag football to the fullest! I hope he gets to enjoy it and has lots of fun while still learning!!

Friday, September 18, 2009


Sorry I have been MIA for so long! I have to be honest....I got kind of discouraged after I started this new one due to the issues I was having with my other one. I don't have the followers that I had on my other one and have been discouraged about that. But I have decided that it doesn't matter who does or doesn't read, I am doing this for me! So I am back!!!

I have a busy day ahead of me...I am involved in PTO stuff for my son's school which is turning into being a very busy job! Plus I am trying to get things together for a consignment coming up in a few weeks. I am also still a Mommy and wife who has a house to keep clean. So I have been busy and it is getting busier! But I am back and will blog more!!

I still read alot of blogs even tho I don't comment all the time or often, it is what I read before going to bed every night!! I love my blog buddies!!

I am putting up a button for my friend's little boy that is very premature! Please please pray for Miracle Max and his Mommy & Daddy! He was born at 27 weeks on Monday in the early morning. Pray for him to continue being strong and to be able to grow, grow, grow with little or no health issues!

Monday, September 7, 2009

9 Years Old!

I am now the Mommy to a 9 year old and 3 year old!! How in the world did that happen so fast?? There is no way that 9 years have pasted that quickly!!.....(I can dream right??)....

So my oldest (who have I mentioned is 9 now?) thinks he is Mr Model or something lately and loves to "pose" when I have the camera out. Here he is yesterday (when he was still 8) at the river.

We spent the day with him and Logan at the zoo here in town. It was a nice time with the exception of being HOT! But it was a very fun day as a family!! Here he is posing at the zoo...again...(this time he is now 9!)

Here is him and Logan together at this face sculpture thingy.
Notice how Logan is picking the sculpture's nose??
The boys took a break from looking at animals and decided to climb the rock wall. Here is the new 9 year old after he made his way to the top with Daddy's help...
Now getting down was a whole different story! Here is Logan after he made his way to the top with Daddy's help...

It was a nice family day and now we are all hanging out at home this evening just relaxing. The sun and heat kind of wore Mommy and Daddy out. I wish the boys could give me half of their energy! These 2 people..
are very proud of our 2 boys! It has been an awesome 9 years with Tanner that I would not trade for the world. I am excited to see what this year brings for him! I am hoping a new attitude some days but we will see. Let the 9 year old boy adventures begin!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

At Home Mommy

I am loving being at home with my Boys!! We are trying to settle into a regular routine and are just about there. Logan and I enjoy our days together when Bubba is in school. The mornings are usually laid back. That is when Logan watches Dora and Diego. You can also find him doing some of this as well...
He loves playing games on the laptop while cartoons are on. I have to say that he does pretty well with them!! He is good for being 3 years old. I also have been working on shapes, letters and numbers with him. He can recognize some of the numbers and letters on his own.

The afternoons are usually spent playing with Hot Wheels tracks or me doing things around the house. It is just nice to be home with the boys. I like to be able to help Tanner with homework when he gets home and it not be a huge hurry up issue.

It is about to get busier around our house as football season is upon us. Hubby is busy during football season with his many fantasy football teams as well as watching the games. Tanner will be playing flag football for his 3rd year. I was hoping to get Logan into soccer or something but looks like he needs to be 4 years old. So next spring we will look into that. Not sure what his sport of choice will be...will be interesting to see.

I am off now to get some things done before the weekend is here! It is date night for Hubby and I. Tanner turns 9 on Monday so we will be doing special things with him this weekend as well. Hope it is a nice Labor Day weekend for everyone!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I wanted to do a post today and while trying to think of what to write about I realized that it is SEPTEMBER!! What in the world happened to the last 9 months?? Not only has time flown by at turbo speed but in 6 short days I will be the Mommy to a 9 year old!!! 9 YEAR OLD!!! That just doesn't seem possible....

Ok so I am in a little shock here....and can't think of what to talk about so I will go back to getting ready to adventure to an appt for Logan with my almost 2 year old niece, another 2 year old and 6 month old baby!! Yeah that is 4 kiddos under 3!! Maybe I can't comprehend where the last 9 months have gone cause I have lost my mind??

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


I am trying very hard to get back into a regular routine/schedule. Since getting home last week, it seems I can't get motivated to do much or get much accomplished. I have been very tired but am starting to feel more human again. I am sure Hubby will be glad to see me now wanting to sleep all the time!!

Tanner started his new school last Thurs and so far likes it pretty well. He was excited to go today because he was going to PE, that is a good thing I thought. We have explained to him that it will get harder this year and move faster than he is used to but the challenge is good for him. We are trying to keep him as interested in learning as we can. We want him to do really well and pursue his dreams. Unfortunately education wasn't encouraged very well for me or Hubby growing up. I wish it would have been encouraged more so that we would have pursued going to college and getting degrees in something. Tanner is a fast learner and gets bored when things move along slow...hopefully this year will be different! I would rather him have a challenge and have to work a little than to get bored and have no interest. That is some of what happened to Hubby...he is very smart!! So I am hoping the best for Tanner this year at this school!

Logan is doing better slowly from his crazy high fever while in CO. He has taken awhile to not be grouchy/whiny and so sleepy. His fiesty "intense" self is coming back day by day. I am hoping to get him involved in soccer or something this fall to give him something to be involved in. I am pretty nervous for him to go to school. Just being honest! I am going to have the child that is mean to the other kids in class I am afraid! I am working hard to change that but it has been a huge struggle for me!

So besides on getting things cleaned up at home and working on getting everyone on a schedule, there isn't much else to report. With getting everyone on a schedule I am hoping to be able to post on here more. Hopefully next time I will have more cute pictures!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Back on Tulsa Time

We safely made it home to Hubby yesterday afternoon. It was a crazy day getting home but we made it safe and that is what matters!

I was already a little "concerned" about only having 45 minutes for our layover in Houston so when we got to the ticket counter and was told the plane was about 5 minutes late, well you can imagine the panic racing thru my mind! I was calm tho as I had to be since I was flying with the 2 boys and didn't want them to worry. We finally reached out gate which had to be the one at the end of the hall on the last concourse but not before going thru the HUGE line to get to security, the train ride to the concourse, the "moving walkway" (what are those things called?? Like an escalator but flat, you can either stand still and it takes you or you can walk and you walk it twice as fast as if you were on the regular floor.) and the escalators! Everyone gets loaded on the plane and the pilot announces that not only are we about 10 minutes behind schedule but there is some sort of security breach in the airport so noone is allowed to move til its cleared!!......Just.Freaking.Great! I call Hubby to have him call the airline to see when the next flight out of Houston that we would be able to get on would be as I knew at this point we were not making it to the next plane!

We FINALLY take off, the pilot announces that we should land at 45 after the hour....our next plane leaves at 50 after the hour! Yes that leaves 5 whole minutes to get off the plane and get to the next gate....really not feeling that it is going to happen. During the 2 1/2 hour flight I was able to come to terms with us catching the next available flight. I explained to Tanner that we would have to wait for the next one they could get us on and that we would get something to eat while waiting. We were kind of looking forward to that!!

As we are walking out of the tunnel thing that connects the plane to the airport we hear all 3 of our names plus 2 others being announced to come to gate 50. That happens to be our next gate...huh! We were getting off the plane 10 minutes after our other plane was to depart so I was sure we were not making that plane.....but I was completely wrong! We get to that gate and find out that the plane is waiting for awesome is that??? I text Hubby real fast as we are running thru the tunnel to let him know we would be there at our regularly scheduled time!!!

Now new panic is setting in my chest as I was concerned how my lovely 3 year old would do flying another 1 1/2 hours after just getting off a 2 1/2 hour one....oh boy! And I am so happy and pleased to say that he did wonderful!! Of course they were hungry but there was not one whine or cry about it. In fact there was not one whine, cry, fight, hit, kick, pinch, arugment to be had! It was awesome!!! Long story but we are home...and we are all happy to be a family of 4 again!! I am way happy to have Hubby at my side rather than doing all the parenting on my own!

And now that our huge 5 week trip is behind us, we are trying to get back into regular routine again! I have still not completed unpacking yet but will get it done. Tanner is all set to start his 1st day of 3rd grade at his new school tomorrow. Let's hope that it goes well. He is attending a charter school this year and I hope it is just what he needs to keep his interest in learning and excelling! Of course Mommy has made a deal he can't turn we shall see how this 3rd grade journey goes!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

6 Days til Homebound

We are still here in CO with only 6 days til we are headed back home. I think all 3 of us are ready to go home and back to normal day to day life! This has been a long visit and a little rough on us. Unfortunately it hasn't been the best visit but there have been good things that have came out of it.

Our original plan was to be here for 3 weeks visiting. I was hoping to spend lots of time with Lil Sis, as she is always wanting "sister" time...but that hasn't been the case. Not too sure what is going on but it has been pretty impossible to visit with her. She seems to always have other things going on. I can only hope that things are well with her. There isn't much I can do if she isn't willing to talk to me but I do have peace knowing that I tried pretty close to daily to invite her to do something with me. I am also concerned about my Brother. He seemed ok for awhile but lately has not been coming around and just doesn't look well when I do see him. Not too sure what is going on and again I can't do anything if he doesn't talk either. All I can do is pray that they find peace and happiness. They both know that I am always here for them at anytime!

We ended up staying an extra 2 weeks due to my Uncle's rehab. He was admitted to inpatient rehab just 2 days before I came out here. He was to be there for 28 days and I wanted to be able to see him graduate. I also wanted to spend time with him at home so that is why we are here longer. I am very proud of him and proud to say that he did make it through his 28 days and has been home for 3 days now doing well! I have known him my entire life to drink and in the last few years he also gotten addicted to prescription medicine. Today makes day 31 of being sober from both alcohol and drugs!! He is doing amazing!! It is just amazing (sorry to keep using that word, I don't know of anything else to describe it.)to see him not being in so much pain, to be happy, upbeat, positive, walks not only without a cane but walks FAST! He has attended his daily AA/NA meetings everyday as well as has taken care of several "chores" around the house. It is so awesome and I love him so much!! If it was not for him and Auntie being there for me all my life, I would not be where I am today!! They are truly pillar of support for me and I greatly appreciate them!

So what will we do with our remaining days here in wonderful CO?? We are not exactly sure yet, just taking one day at a time. I am hoping that we are able to take Logan fishing at least 1 time, that is all he has wanted to do since getting here. I am sure this weekend will be lots of fun as the last weekend here.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Our Days

Most of our days here in CO are spent at the park. The boys and I go to a few different parks depending on how hot it is that day. There is one that has a splash pad and river for the kids to play in as well as the usual park toys to climb on. There is another that has tons and tons of geese in the lake that we can feed bread to as well as play and climb on the toys. There have been a couple others that we have visited but these 2 are the main ones. The boys have tons of fun while running around. And since CO isn't the same "hot" as OK, I love being outside relaxing or playing with them. It isn't near as hot here and the humidity isn't like it is in OK. We love to be outside so are taking full advantage of it!

The evenings are spent either getting together with my family for dinner, hanging out at my Auntie's house or visiting someone. Seems most evenings we have something to do these days. I am enjoying to be able to be here with my Auntie while my Uncle is getting the help he needs for his addictions.

These are our days here in CO!
Boys checking out the river

Boys in River (it was cold!)

Tanner floating the River

Cutie Logan & Mommy at Park

Boys all tuckered out!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Where oh Where Have I gone....

Things have been really busy around here lately. Besides trying to entertain the boys while it rains during the day, I have been going to visit my Uncle who is in rehab.

I was fortunate to spend all last weekend up there with him and my Auntie. We learned all about chemical dependency and co-dependancy. It was a very emotional but inspirational weekend!! He has been there for almost 4 weeks now and will be "graduating" this Sat. He may come home on Sunday but it could be later in the week. He is a little scared to come home, he really feels that he needs further therapy so we will see how that all works out.

I little Uncle has drank my entire life, that is how I know my Uncle. He has always been very special to me as him and I have been close my entire life. I know that he is always there for me no matter what. In the few years he has also become addicted to pain pills, oxy being the main one. He was the one who said that he needed help and that is what he got! To see him now is amazing!! He looks great, he feels good and he is still very funny!! That is one thing that I have loved about him is that he always made me laugh. I was a little worried the first weekend I went to see him that he would be a different person since I only knew him drinking. But he is the same with even better things about him. Everyday we were there this weeekend we would take walks. We walked at least 2 miles everyday and it was hard for me and Auntie to keep up with him, he walks fast!!! I am excited but scared for him to come home. I am excited to spend more time with him here at home but also scared for him. I know he plans to go to AA everyday but besides that I hope he is able to stay busy and upbeat so that he doesn't get down and want to drink. I am behind him 110% and will do whatever he needs to help him stay sober!

It was an exhausting weekend since we drove back and forth everyday which is an hour one way. I was not able to leave Logan all night since he hasn't spent the night away from me since he was a baby. I am very thankful that my Sis-in-law, Brother and Lil Sis were able to help me by watching my boys all weekend. I love family so much cause we help each other out!!

I am off now to take the boys to the park with water sprinklers! It is finally not cool and raining so we are going to go outside for the day!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Missing My Best Friend

Yesterday was the day 3 years ago that my best friend, my Mom lost her battle with melanoma. I know that she is much better off than the suffering she endured while here with us but it still is hard to be without her. I sometimes feel like such a little girl because I miss her so and want her here with me. This is the 1st year since her passing that I was able to visit the cemetary on the actual day. It was bittersweet as my brother, Lil Sis, "Dad", Auntie, 2 sons and cousin's little boy were all with me. We just gathered around and talked, took a few pics at the grave and talked some more. I miss her so!!

She used to sing to me "You Are My Sunshine" when I was a little girl and always told me that I was her sunshine. Now for that I absolutely love sunflowers and find them so peaceful when I look at them. Due to time yesterday I was not able to get some before going to the cemetary but will be taking her some sunflowers in the next few days.

I still struggle trying to find a way to feel peaceful about her not being here. As stated before, I know that she is in a much better place. I am still searching for something I can do or involve myself in for her honor to feel a sense of peace about all this. I have been told that with time it gets better and am still waiting for that time to pass. 3 years and it isn't much better...

Here are pics of us at the cemetary. Hopefully later or tomorrow I can have a more cheerful post to write about but for today I am still thinking of my dear Mom. She was truly my best friend, noone else knows me like she did. Noone else understands my thoughts and feelings completely like she did.

All of us with "Dad"

All of us with Auntie

All of us gathered around chatting

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Trying Again

If you have followed me from my other blog...THANK YOU!! I was having several issues with my posts disappearing for months now and it was becoming very frustrating!! It was very disappointing to work so hard on my posts and then they just disappear. I have tried all I know to do to stop it but it was still I decided to just start another one all together. I really didn't want to find a different blog site as I love this one and it is very user friendly! I am not the best at this computer stuff but am always learning. So here I am trying again....

Thank you for continuing to read!!