Sunday, October 18, 2009

Strong Willed??

This precious, strong willed 3 year old little boy is pushing this Mommy to her breaking point...quickly!! I have taken today to sit back, take deep breaths and do research! I remember ever since I was a little 4 year old girl that I wanted to be a Mommy when I grew up...umm how come noone told me it would be so trying sometimes?? Don't get me wrong, I love this little boy with all the love I have to give! He is definately my world no matter how many buttons he pushes or nerves he dances on.

I always heard you get paid back for how you were to your parents as a child. I was a good child so what am I needing to be paid back for? I have talked to any and every other Mom, friend, family that I could. I have thought and thought and cried and cried over what to do. There is nothing seriously wrong with him, at least that I am aware of, it is just that he is very strong willed. It doesn't matter what amount of punishment you use on him, it DOES NOT bother him! You name it I have probably tried it from time out, spanking, ignoring, distracting with something else, yelling, talking, removing from the certain situation, taking whatever away....I have done alot!

I have been getting really down and depressed about this as the last week or 2 has been really challenging. He has stepped it up a notch or 2 in the misbehavior department. I have not been feeling that great with the cooler weather moving in and things have been busy for me at Tanner's school. I was starting to not want to deal with him, my nerves were very very short, so I decided to take today to do some thinking, researching, deep breathing and spend some one on one time with him.

I talked to a family member and they really made alot of sense to me. They pointed out that he is alot like how they were as a little child and even explained why certain things he was doing could be happening. That along with the research made everything a little clearer. Now instead of wondering and asking "What am I doing wrong?" I have a clearer picture or what is very possibly happening and as of now seems a little clearer to try to deal with.

In my thinking I also was able to look back at how his daily routine has been really messed up and truly believe that has alot to do with his behavior as well. He also is very sensitive to me and how I am feeling and I also think that plays a part in how he has been. So all these things added together makes me need to go searching for more patience! I am pretty patient but I think I need some more for back up!

I have am satisfied that I have made sense of some things today and am committed to be the best Mommy I can to both my boys! They deserve nothing less!! I am digging down deep within myself and finding more and more strength that I never thought I had. I love both of my boys and they are my world. I want nothing less than the best possible for them and will do whatever is in my power or ability to make that happen for them! So bring on a new week....I am ready to go!!

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